1. |
Genderbent
04:33
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Genderbent
gender is not a line
it’s something in my mind
and not between my legs
it’s something that needs to change
it’s not between my legs
it’s not for u to say
she can’t walk home safe
on her own the streets are not her home
but they are for me
just cause i’m male presenting half the time
dual gender is mine
and if u didn’t know depressions taste is not a choice
i speak with anxieties voice
everyone needs the choice to present
what they feel inside and not the label
their parents provide
gender is not a line
she can’t walk home safe
on her own
but i’ll fight for her to be safe on her own
to be safe on her own
to walk home alone
to take that uber alone
to be safe on her own
gender is not a line
it’s not between my legs
it’s something that needs to change
it’s not for u to say
gender is not a line
it’s not between my legs
it’s something that needs to change
it’s not for you to say
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2. |
Fragments of Mind
05:08
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Fragments Of Mind
i don’t know the words to say
recently my mind has been blank
i can feel my heart beat in my chest
it’s a heavy place, begging for rest
i can’t sit and watch you in pain
i can’t watch u wish ur life away
i don’t know the right thing to do
i can’t stop loving you
i wake up in fear
that you’re no longer here
sick of seeing faces in the mirror
says there’s only
one way to disappear (no)
i move 3 hours away
ur in my mind everyday
text me as soon as u wake
so i know u are here one more day
just one more day baby
just one more day, we’ll take it
just one more day
and i wish u could see the other side
not the one ur mind fills with lies
ur thoughts are real but ur thoughts
are blind
ur thoughts are real, but they’re fragments of mind
fragments of mind
you’re believing these lies
i don’t know the words to say
recently my mind has been blank
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3. |
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My Hand Fits Best Around My Own Throat
i know you said i really fucked u up
i know we always did like it rough
i realized my hand fits the best around my own throat i know to control
to break holds, to submit
to break grips
with both hands for how long
have i
can i
my hand fits best around my own throat
who would guessed
do you feel
so much better when you are not
here?
i know a few ways
to change what i’m feeling
just by breathing
what have i swallowed
trying to control
i know
my hands fits the best around my own throat
to control to break hold
to submit to break grips
i know, always liked it rough
i realized my hand fits the best around my own throat
do you feel
so much better when u are not here
do you feel
so much better when you are not
so very sober
i know a few ways
to change what yer feeling
just through breathing
i know a few ways
i know a few ways (just by breathing)
you’ll see my face when you are. ready
you’ll be my mask till you are steady
with both hands for how long have i
can i
have i
my hand fits the best around my own throat who would have guessed?
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4. |
Portland Sun
03:48
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Portland Sun
i’m feeling trapped in my own skin
when ur running from urself it’s hard to win
is it mind or body causing this pain
it’s all the same
portland sun is even getting too bright
only go outside when it’s dark at night
people watch to understand the happy
write down everything that i can’t be
i’m closest to bliss wrapped in my sheets
feel no pain without this body
i don’t hate me i just hate the mold
this intoxicating cravings getting old
portland sun is even getting too bright
only go outside when it’s dark at night
people watch to understand the happy
write down everything that i can’t be
i don’t want to show u how i’m letting this pain take me away
i don’t understand i’m supposed to keep living each day
if i’m not hiding all of this crying they leave
i will keep hiding all of this crying to me
portland sun is even getting too bright
only go outside when it’s dark at night
people watch to understand the happy
write down everything that i can’t be
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5. |
Caretake
05:12
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Caretake
love of the caretaker
love of the parent
love of the friend
love of the gardener for the plants
humans are poison on the land
maybe if i took more care
maybe if i took more
maybe when the trees grow back
will we get to see that?
maybe
men don’t understand what i mean
because they push away their hard feelings
i have to lay down my head is full of sound
maybe maybe if they did not see
men and women only
maybe then the trees would grow back
maybe speak to me through the plastic
through our panting mouths
i have to lay down
maybe if they’d stop taking
if they didn’t see men and women only
maybe then the trees would grow back
men don’t understand what i mean because they push away their feelings
i have to lay down my head is full of sound
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6. |
You're Me
06:14
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You're Me
i wish there was an answer
i wish i had a clue
i wish i could go back in time
to when i didn't think of you
your voice is getting louder
your voice takes up my time
my voice becomes silent
your voice is in my mind
you read to me the numbers
you put them in my head
you make me check the mirror
before i go to bed
you're always making comments
i know i've lost control
i know i'll never get back the part of me you stole
you rip me into pieces
you tell me who to be
i wish that i could leave you
but you're a part of me
you're me
i wish that i could leave you
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House of Warmth Portland, Oregon
Very Very Warm
kayla
joey
monkey
maya
morgan
“I was conscious every moment. I felt them positively swarming in me, these opposite elements. I knew that they had been swarming in me all my life and craving some outlet from me, but I purposely would not let them come out. They tormented me till I was ashamed: they drove me to convulsions and—sickened me, at last, how they sickened me!”
... more
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